If time travel were possible

If present day me could talk to myself from 10 years ago, I would say…

Ten years ago, I would have been fifteen. Such a delicate age. I would say that the boy you love right now is going to end up breaking your heart. Many of the happy memories you will harbor of him will slowly be replaced with betrayal and pain. I want to shield you from that pain, but the experience itself brought you out of your sheltered life.

At fifteen, you were a mess. You did well in your academics, but you did poor to socialize. I would have loved it if you talked to people other than your circle of friends and your boyfriend. I would want you to try new things rather than stick to what feels safe and comfortable. I advice you to spend more time with your family, no matter how awkward it must feel at your age.

At fifteen, you can't picture out what your life would look like. Highschool, and life at that moment was good enough for you. I wish I could tell you, life is more than that. So much more. Your life is going to get so much better.

10 years from fifteen, you graduated (a bit delayed but it doesn't really matter). You have a stable job, and you are closer to your family than ever. You learn that you will lose friends along the way, or that things won't be as close as before. You have new people who love you. You have a boyfriend who loves you more than you could ever imagine. I'll tell you a secret. I really hope he's the one we'll spend the rest of our lives with.

I have so many wishes for you. But I'm doing them for you now. I have hobbies you will be proud of ( bad ukulele skills, painting, board games ) and activities you did not even think about (aikido, yoga, clubbing). You finally start to become comfortable in your own skin. I remember we used to dislike taking pictures because we didn't think we look good. Well subconsciously I still do, and it shows when I pose awkwardly. Nonetheless, I am happy with my self. Despite the acne, the weight gain, the unruly hair. I am happy.

At fifteen, you are so so young and stupid. But be stupid. It's part of life. At least you were stupid so early in life. It's almost embarrassing how much of a late bloomer you are. The important thing is your stupidity will be your stepping stones to maturity. 

I can tell you now that it's never good to compare. And it really is pointless. I know you wont believe me. I don't blame you. So I will tell you to be as stupid and foolish and naive as you can be. I do not regret any of it. 

Ten years later, you will get to where I am now. And although there are many "I wish", I wouldn't trade them for anything else.

You are loved.